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I'm writing a request to a school and I'm trying to politely state my request. However, I can't find the correct phrase to use. I've gone with 'could please' but that doesn't sound right.

Here is the whole sentence:

I was wondering if I could please retake the test for transition into year 9 and if so, when and where?

Is this right? If not what would be the best phrase to use?

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I was wondering if I could please retake the test for transition into year 9 and if so, when and where?

Concise sentences are preferred. My suggestion is

Could I retake the test for transition into year 9? If so, please let me know the date, time, and place.

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  • I agree that conciseness is good, but I wouldn't take out both "wondering" and "please", it's perfectly fine to say "Could I please retake..." or "I was wondering if I could retake...". – Micah Windsor Sep 14 '20 at 15:41
  • @Micah, yes, I agree that your 2 versions are perfectly fine too. Thx. – Seowjooheng Singapore Sep 14 '20 at 22:19

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