0

In the song I wrote a few years ago, I was always singing the last part of the final chorus as "I beg you, dear, please don't do you cry" (I will attach an audio example below). I didn't really think about it, it just fit rhythmically, and that was it for me. However, recently I tried to record it, and when I finally played it back, it occurred to me that it is not at all correct (as far as I know).

You can find the part of the song here: https://sndup.net/5n3v/d. Beware, it's really really far from the final product, it's really just in the beginning stage, so the sound quality is just bad.

Would you be so kind to help me with these several questions?

  1. Is there any way (or meaning) that would make this phrasing correct?
  2. If not, does it hurt your ears to hear it like that? (I know that there are lyrics that are not grammatically correct, so I ask if this is above the "limit")
  3. If not, does it convey the message? (e.g., I want to say "please don't cry")

I would really love to keep it that way because it really builds up before the final part of the song, but I don't want people to think I don't speak English, so I guess you see my dilemma here.

5
  • Welcome to English Language & Usage. In my (AmE) opinion, 1) you could keep the meter by "I beg you, dear, please don't, please don't cry" 2) It hurts my ears 3) It conveys the message but the ungrammatical nature of it detracts.
    – rajah9
    Nov 14 '20 at 13:08
  • Keep in mind that song lyrics often bend or break the rules of English for a variety of reasons related to the song's message and fitting it into that format.
    – jwh20
    Nov 14 '20 at 14:23
  • Don't and do directly contradict one another! Nov 14 '20 at 15:20
  • If you need an extra syllable, you can always say "Please, please don't cry!". Nov 14 '20 at 16:57
  • It would be more acceptable, in my opinion, to introduce an artificial stutter so that the line becomes "I beg you dear d-don't you cry" you'd get away with that because emotion often causes people to stutter. An alternative would be to bend 'dear' over two notes to take up the extra beat so the line becomes "I beg you de-ar don't you cry". Again you'd get away with it because it sounds like intense emotion. I think they're both better than using dodgy English.
    – BoldBen
    Nov 15 '20 at 2:15
1

You know it's not grammatical. It sounds like a reggae lyric and it is really no less grammatical than "No woman no cry". (which is completely correct grammar in Jamaican dialect)

Nobody ever says "I love the song, but I don't like the grammar"

Comments have given some suggestions, which for completeness I'll repeat in an answer

  • Introduce an artificial stutter so that the line becomes "I beg you dear d-don't you cry" you'd get away with that because emotion often causes people to stutter. An alternative would be to bend 'dear' over two notes to take up the extra beat so the line becomes "I beg you de-ar don't you cry".

  • If you need an extra syllable, you can always say "Please, please don't cry!".

  • You could keep the meter by "I beg you, dear, please don't, please don't cry"

1
  • In my experience as an anime lover (whose OP might contain an English sentence), fans will point out the grammatical mistakes in the English part of the song, essentially a form of "I love the song, but I don't like the grammar".
    – Xwtek
    Mar 19 at 8:36

Your Answer

By clicking “Post Your Answer”, you agree to our terms of service, privacy policy and cookie policy