I wrote the following sentences.
I have read Prof. XX’ s work “AAA” and I am excited about his great achievements on data mining. I believe that my passion and experience in these areas will have a great impact on the university. With this degree, I am confident that I can succeed in my career objective and dreams. I believe that my outstanding academic background, valuable research experience and desire to take on challenges will bring this program new research insights and engineering ideas.
I want to ask that is the first sentence redundant because the two bold sentence seem to convey the same meaning?
If the first sentence is redundant, should I remove the first bold sentence? Or can I change the last bold sentence to “With my outstanding academic background, valuable research experience and desire to take on challenges, I will bring this program new research insights and engineering ideas.” and retain the first bold sentence in order to avoid redundancy?
And if I use "I believe that my experience and passion in these areas will greatly contribute to your works" to replace the first bold sentence, is it redundant?