1

I was writing a song when I got stuck on this line. Is it correct to say:

Very soon they'll smell the blood, of the one there shall be 101.

I'm thinking of vultures. I've been struggling with the second part of the sentence. I wanted to say that when the one smells the blood, soon after 100 more vultures will come join the first one. Does this correctly express that?

3
  • I would change the preposition to from: "from the one shall be a hundred and one". (The preposition from can mean a numerical starting point, as when we say, "Count from 1 to 10.")
    – J.R.
    Commented Jun 26, 2014 at 0:18
  • Thank you so much everyone! There are a few possibilities, but the last one seems the closest to mine. So, it wouldn't be mistake if I use FROM. And one more question can I use word THERE? - "from the one there shall be a hundred and one"? Thank you
    – User65
    Commented Jun 26, 2014 at 10:44
  • Yes, the word 'there' can be inserted there.
    – J.R.
    Commented Jun 26, 2014 at 11:40

2 Answers 2

2

No, this doesn't correctly convey the meaning you're looking for. For other vultures to be of the first, that implies one of two meanings:

  1. The first vulture could have given birth to the other 100 vultures (not what you mean)

  2. The first vulture spontaneously transforms into 100 additional vultures (this is not physically possible and would require some sort of magical or sci-fi universe, which is also not what you seem to be going for).

What you say you want is to say that the first vulture smells the blood, and calls for 100 more to come along with it. So you want something like this:

first comes one then 101

first there's one then 101

one shall come then 101

one hundred more shall follow one

(I assumed it needed to rhyme; did my best!)

But you want something along those lines. The additional vultures are not "of" the first; you definitely don't want to say that.

1
  • 1
    "The first vulture could have given birth to the other 100 vultures" - my first thought as well. Commented Jun 26, 2014 at 0:39
0

I would write:

Very soon they'll smell the blood,

First one will come, then a hundred more.

Does it need to rhyme?

1
  • "First one will come, then one hundred one" - same number of syllables, but preserves the rhyming structure from the question. Commented Jun 26, 2014 at 0:36

You must log in to answer this question.

Not the answer you're looking for? Browse other questions tagged .