-1
  1. If you don't shut up now Timmy will be motherless in a second/moment.

  2. If you don't shut up now Timmy is going to be motherless in a second/moment.

  3. If you don't shut up now Timmy will very soon be motherless.

  4. If you don't shut up now Timmy is very soon going to be motherless.

  5. If you don't shut up now Timmy will be motherless very soon.

  6. If you don't shut up now Timmy is going to be motherless very soon.

...Trust me, they'll kill you, okay? So please stop.

I'm not sure how to phrase this sentence, so I would appreciate if you could help me.

  • Which one of my suggestions do you find more natural?

  • About the first two, would it sound like Timmy would be motherless for only a second/moment or forever?

  • Also, would "motherless" even be natural to use?

2
  • Is the speaker supposed to be the mother of Timmy or some third party? – mdewey Jan 6 at 15:59
  • It's a third party who's telling Timmy's mother to shut up so that nothing happens to her. – Toppop17 Jan 6 at 16:07
1
  1. All sound natural, but using "very soon" sounds a lot nicer and I believe that the speaker is trying to intimidate the mother, so I'd suggest to choose your first sentence (I'm a reader).
  2. No, they all imply that Timmy will go motherless forever. If you use "for" then yes.
  3. Motherless sounds natural, I can find the word everywhere.
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  • Welcome to ELL! So this is not a discussion forum, and answers should be focused on providing information. I have edited out the unnecessary fluff from your answer. Keep up writing good answers and before you know it you will be able to comment. But keep in mind that comments should also stay on point. – Eddie Kal Jan 7 at 5:55
  • @EddieKal got it. Thank you! – Felicia Brilliant Jan 8 at 7:37
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I find none stands out as best. All suggest forever. The use of the word is just fine.

I'm not sure who is killing whom in the last sentence - maybe a third party watching Timmy when his mother can't shut him up.

0

All your sentences are reasonable. I think #1 and #3 flow a little better but it's a close call.

Is this sentence intended to be a threat or a warning? That is, do you mean, "I will kill you" or "Someone else will kill you"? If you mean "I will kill you", then it could be taken as a very extreme thing to say. In some contexts it would be understood as a joke, and if the person you're talking to enjoys dark humor, then fine. But if not, saying something like this could seriously offend someone. As I don't know the context, I don't know if that's an issue or not. Or if your point is to be very harsh.

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