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I am writing the first paragraph(introduction) of an essay. I want to write my thesis statement as follows:

I believe that preserving historical places has greater advantages than constructing new buildings because historical buildings teach people about history that happened in the distant past, and as historical monuments attract tourists, preserving historical landmarks is helpful to stimulate the economy.

The problem is this sentence is too long, so I want to divide this sentence using semicolon(;). Which one is correct, 1 or 2? (the difference is whether "for the following reasons" exists or not)

  1. I believe that preserving historical places has greater advantages than constructing new buildings for the following reasons; firstly, historical buildings teach people about history that happened in the distant past, and further more, as historical monuments attract tourists, preserving historical landmarks is helpful to stimulate the economy.

  2. I believe that preserving historical places has greater advantages than constructing new buildings; firstly, historical buildings teach people about history that happened in the distant past, and further more, as historical monuments attract tourists, preserving historical landmarks is helpful to stimulate the economy.

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  • I don't understand why you want to divide this sentence using semicolon. Apart from the fact that semicolons are going out of style (they're often confusing to the reader), it seems clear to me that what you have is two separate sentences (the first one ending with ...in the distant past). Just change the following comma to a full stop, and delete the word and. Feb 18, 2021 at 13:29

1 Answer 1

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Longer but better (also, I would remove I believe here):

The preservation of historical structures entails advantages over demolition and rebuilding new ones. First, historical buildings teach people about architectural and art history and second, they become historical landmarks and monuments, thereby attracting tourists and stimulating local economies.

Cheers.

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