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I had a room mate who would always tell me to do stuff like clean the kitchen after I use it, or clean up after I spilled something. It was obvious in each situation that I was going to do said thing anyway.

Is there a specific word or phrase for such behavior? Other than "bossy".

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The usual term for this activity is nagging, and the person doing it is a nag. But there is no implication that the person being nagged was definitely going to do the things anyway. I can't think of a single word that conveys that. I might say something like "they are nagging me needlessly" or "... for no reason."

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