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  1. I am just not okay with ____.

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  1. My best friend is getting married to my sister.

When I combine the two sentences above into one sentence, could I say these?

C) I am just not okay with my best friend being getting married to my sister.

D) I am just not okay with my best friend getting married to my sister.

Is it possible to omit "being" as I did in sentence D?

Very frequently, I guess native speakers use the object case as the subject of gerund. I am sorry that I don't know the exact grammatical terminology.

My question is why don't you transform "is" to "being"?

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    My friend is getting married... is a statement of what is going to happen. What you object to is expressed as the clause my friend getting married. Commented Apr 21, 2021 at 15:37
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    It might help to think of it with a simpler example. My friend is turning purple. I am not happy about my friend... How would you complete that sentence? ...turning purple. No form of is, because this is a clause and not a complete sentence.
    – stangdon
    Commented Apr 21, 2021 at 15:42
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    As others have said, C makes no sense. The gerund clause "with..." itself is the object. It's what you are not ok with. As a gerund clause, it needs just one gerund -- not two. The verb in the sentence is am. So you would have to say either D or "I am not ok with my friend being married to my sister." D is better, because you are not ok with something yet to happen. Commented Apr 21, 2021 at 18:18

1 Answer 1

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I think you are confusing two different uses of the word "is" here. This verb can either be:

  • The primary verb in the sentence, expressing an attribute or state of being ("My friend is married")
  • An auxiliary used with another verb to form various verb tenses, such as the present progressive tense ("My friend is getting married")

In the first case, the verb of the sentence is "to be" (expressed in the present tense as "is"). In the second sentence, the verb is actually "to get" (expressed in the present progressive tense as "is getting"), so these are actually two different verbs.

When you use a construction like "I am not okay with", the clause which follows "with" needs to be turned into a noun, and that is done by changing its verb (whatever that verb is) from whatever tense it was before into a present participle ("-ing" form) instead. In the first case, the verb is "to be", so the participle form is "being". In the second case, however, the base verb is actually "to get", so the participle form is "getting".

  • "My friend is married" --> "my friend being married"
  • "My friend is getting married" --> "my friend getting married"

Saying "my friend being getting married" is not correct, because it is only changing part of the verb, not the whole verb (which is "is getting", not just "is"), and so you actually end up with two participles together (which just doesn't happen in English).

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