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Can I drop the second mention of the word "consists" (or any other similar verb) when presenting percentage?

For example, can I drop the highlighted words in the following statements?

So far, about 95 percent of this structure consists of empty boxes, and only 5 percent consists of bricks.

About 60 percent of chosen white rocks were used in the roof, while the other 40 percent were used in the foundation.

Only about 35 percent of his work comprise valid research, while 65 percent comprise redundant repetition.

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    You could consider rephrasing the sentences. For example So far, about 95 percent of this structure consists of empty boxes whilst the rest is bricks. the rest implies 5% May 2, 2021 at 10:51
  • My question is why you are not thinking about the first ones. The 2 lower examples use the regular form in order to present percentage. Though upvoted.
    – Kentaro
    May 2, 2021 at 10:52
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    You can omit the repetition in the first and third sentences (though I would use consists of rather than comprise). I think that, if you omit the second were used, you need to omit while as well. May 2, 2021 at 11:07
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    I would say it is perfectly alright to drop the second mention of the same word. However to make sense of the third sentence after dropping "comprise", you need to add "of" instead of "comprise". Also I support @PeterJennings suggestion of rephrasing the sentence so that you don't have to think of using the verb at all for the second instance of the sentence. May 2, 2021 at 12:47
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    I never mentioned grammatical persons! To me, "...while the other 40% in the foundation" doesn't work as a phrase, though "60% were used in the roof, the other 40% in the foundation" is OK. May 2, 2021 at 12:49

1 Answer 1

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So far, about 95 percent of this structure consists of empty boxes, and only 5 percent consists of bricks.

About 60 percent of chosen white rocks were used in the roof, while the other 40 percent were used in the foundation.

Only about 35 percent of his work comprise valid research, while 65 percent comprise redundant repetition.

We could remove the repeated words in all three examples and, if necessary to avoid confusion, add gapping commas at locations we have removed words.

http://www.sussex.ac.uk/informatics/punctuation/comma/gapping

Also, we usually do not place a comma to separate a subordinate clause from its independent clause if the latter comes first. I have hence removed the commas before while in examples 2 and 3.

So far, about 95 percent of this structure consists of empty boxes, and only 5 percent, of bricks.

About 60 percent of chosen white rocks were used in the roof while the other 40 percent, in the foundation.

Only about 35 percent of his work comprise valid research while 65 percent, redundant repetition.

We have a joining comma in example 1. Some writers recommend changing such joining commas to semi colons for clarity, in view of the presence of gapping commas.

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