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Does it have the same meaning to say:

  1. you are the woman who I love
  2. You are the woman whom I love

I know the 2 is more appropriate but I would like to know if the first is also valid

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The use of "whom" is disappearing in informal spoken English. That said, saying

You are the woman who I love

is unidiomatic, because a native speaker would say

You are the woman I love.

Your version 2, "whom I love", is barely possible; I think "who I love" is very strange. In terms of conservative grammar, it's also incorrect, because "whom" is the direct object of "love" in the clause.
You may find that someone said it with "who", because "whom" is little used, but it is ungrammatical and unidiomatic.

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  • I know it's not used these days, but I think "whom" is more suitable rather than who, but I'm on my way to learn. thank you. But my question is if the 1 sentence is correct, "you are the woman who I love" is it grammatically correct? Jul 7 at 23:48
  • No, speaking in terms of grammar, "who" is not correct, because "whom" is the direct object of "love" in the clause. Jul 8 at 5:38
  • I've added a little to the answer. Jul 8 at 5:43
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Yes, the first is valid. What isn't valid is when "whom," an object pronoun, appears to be the direct object but is actually the subject a relative clause, for example:

You are the woman whom loves me.

In the above, "whom" is wrong because "whom" isn't the direct object of "love," like it is in your example, but is the subject of "love" in a what is a relative clause, so how you would write it would be:

You are the woman who loves me.

This tends to be more of a problem when it is in a position where it more appears to be the direct object, for example, some people may be prone to say:

You love whom loves you.

But that's wrong. Since "whom" isn't actually the direct object but is the subject of a noun clause that's the direct object, those people should instead say:

You love who loves you.

That's because "who" isn't the direct object of "love" but instead the entire phrase "who loves you" is, thus calling for the subject pronoun "who" in the direct object noun clause "who loves you," not the direct object pronoun "whom."

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  • Yes you are right, but I think there is a misleading here, I mean, who is the subject in a relative clause that makes an action, right? but I didn't mean to write, that She loves me, but she was the one I loved, then it should be correct to say, you are the woman whom I love, I'm sure about it, my question was, is it correct to say, you are the woman who I love, meaning that I love her, And I read upon it and I know it's also accepted now, youtube.com/watch?v=bPqMLKXoEac Jul 8 at 1:47
  • "whom" can also be an indirect object: "... the singer whom I write about the most is...."
    – gotube
    Jul 8 at 6:38

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