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It would be appreciated if you can let us know when can we expect to receive the final payment

Does this sound right?

I have been using the sentence above whenever I am trying to be polite while chasing outstanding payments. However, I always feel it sounds off, especially the 'When can we expect', shouldn't it be 'When we can expect' instead as I am not really asking a question?

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    Yes, it should be "when we can". Other than that, it sounds fine, if a little wordy. Oct 31, 2021 at 22:10

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You are correct that it should be "when we can" instead of "when can we", and for the reason you gave. Other than that, I'd say it was mostly fine. I might, however, change:

It would be appreciated if you can...

to:

It would be appreciated if you could...

or:

It would be appreciated if you would...

or even:

Give me my money now, you thieving cad! Or else! Don't force me to come over there and introduce you to my Louisville slugger.

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    +1 for the ending.
    – AIQ
    Nov 1, 2021 at 8:22

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