0

I wrote some programs in Python that basically reduced lead times and labour costs. I am having difficulty in expressing the whole idea; it's becoming too wordy and hard to follow.

Let's start with a simple version:

A. I created a program in Python that automated the process of integrating and matching data from multiple sources, thereby reducing expected lead times and labour costs significantly.

The above sentence is pretty clear, and I am satisfied with it. Note that there are two important ideas in the sentence: (1) the program automated a process, and (2) reduced lead times and costs. I want both ideas to have equal emphasis.

When I add a second process to the sentence A, it just falls apart and becomes a mess.

B. I created programs in Python that automated the processes of running multiple regression models with different sets of variables, and of integrating and matching data from multiple sources, thereby reducing expected lead times and labour costs significantly.

It's just disgusting. First, the expression "the processes of x and of y" is for some reason terrible. It just doesn't flow well. Second, the "reduced lead times and costs" idea is too far removed and has lost its impact.

Here's what I have tried to keep a balance between the two ideas, but I am not sure if this is an improvement over sentence B.

C. I created programs in Python that automated two key processes (running multiple regression models with different sets of variables, and integrating and matching data from multiple sources), thereby reducing expected lead times and labour costs significantly.

The second idea is still too far away. Perhaps D is better?

D. I created programs in Python that significantly reduced expected lead times and labour costs by automating two key processes: running multiple regression models with different sets of variables, and integrating and matching data from multiple sources.

I can see D having that balance between the two ideas. Also, one could argue that bringing the second idea (= reduced lead times and costs) to the front is an improvement as that is exactly what a hiring manager would care about - the result of the programs, and not what the programs did.

What can I change to ensure that the sentence conveys the two ideas as clearly as possible, and that it is not too wordy or hard to follow? Is D my best option, or is there a better way to say this?

Improve this question
3
  • If you are happy to split the sentence you could use the structure: I did A, B, and C. This resulted in D.
    – Peter
    Nov 7, 2021 at 5:24
  • @Peter I don't necessarily mind splitting it. In fact, if this was not for a resume/CV, I'd have definitely done that to solve the problem. The issue here is that hiring managers have very little time, and by the time they get to "This resulted in D" they'd have gotten bored of my writing. It is the "result" that they care about, but the "method" is important as that provides the context.
    – AIQ
    Nov 7, 2021 at 5:48
  • 1
    It sounds almost like you need something like "I reduced labour costs by writing programs which did such and such." But perhaps your own option D is the best.
    – Peter
    Nov 7, 2021 at 6:26

1 Answer 1

Reset to default
1

It is not necessary to pluralize process in this sentence. When you use the expression "the process of", it simply indicates that you are talking about a series of actions, not the actions themselves. It is OK to use it to describe multiple, independent series of actions.

I'm in the process of selling my house, getting a divorce and moving to Holland.

Improve this answer
2
  • But even so, the second idea about reducing lead times and costs is still too far removed.
    – AIQ
    Nov 7, 2021 at 4:59
  • 1
    D is certainly a good solution.
    – JavaLatte
    Nov 7, 2021 at 5:02

You must log in to answer this question.

Not the answer you're looking for? Browse other questions tagged .