I have been warned. When I decided to end my eight-year stint in Washington DC and decamp to Los Angeles last summer, my friends in the capital looked at me like I had announced plans to eject myself into space. they rolled their office chairs towards my cubicle and pressed their hands to my shoulder at happy hours. Los Angeles resident are not like the rest of us, they said. These people were preternaturally tan. They drank their kale. If I moved there with my boyfriend in two, they told me, I might survive. But I should not attemp to date in Los Angeles. Between dark basement beers during my last month in Washington, my friends presented me a phantasmagoria of single life in LA. It looks like skeletal Asian models pair-bonding with balding producers over low-calorie cocktail.
Based on my perception I would say happy hours refers to the time that you do not work at your job although is different from what I read in dictionaries.
When it says they were tan, is it reffering to her calleagues or LA residents?
What does it mean "between beers" ?
What do "pair-bonding" and "balding pruducers" mean?
What does it mean "drink kale" ?
Thank you so much.