I'm reading Oscar Wilde's The Picture of Dorian Gray, and found the phrase "as it seemed to him at times" in the context below, difficult to understand. I don't understand what it seemed like to him, in this scene. I'd appreciate it if you would answer my question.
A feeling of pain crept over him as he thought of the desecration that was in store for the fair face on the canvas. Once, in boyish mockery of Narcissus, he had kissed, or feigned to kiss, those painted lips that now smiled so cruelly at him. Morning after morning he had sat before the portrait wondering at its beauty, almost enamoured of it, as it seemed to him at times.
(The text is quoted from chapter 8 of The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde)