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I purchased a fan. After 10 days, it makes noise.

Can I rephrase the sentence to the following?

My fan quickly makes noise after 10 days after purchase.

The "after ... after" part seems awkward for me. But I don't know if it's wrong or there is a better way to express a period plus an event.

Also, is the following ok?

My car quickly goes out of gas within 5 minutes after gas filing.

(I filled gas for my car. I drove it 4 minutes. The dashboard reports the gas is empty, again!)

Edit:

It may be a my programmer thinking, but in programming I can write DatePlus(1776-01-01, 200years), it gives me 1976-01-01.

I'm looking for a constant construct where I can fill in a time period, and a noun or a noun phrase, like this

X(purchase, 10days)
X(gas filing, 5minutes)

so that I can use "after" or "within" to relate the calculated timestamp and my topic.

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    you can remove the first "after" in the first sentence. The second sentence would be phrased as "My car quickly ran out of gas within 5 minutes of filling the gas tank."
    – Esther
    May 31, 2022 at 21:57
  • Additionally, using "quickly" when you are specifying the time interval is somewhat awkward.
    – Esther
    May 31, 2022 at 21:58
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    There isn't really a standard phrase like that. Spoken languages are not programming languages ;)
    – Esther
    May 31, 2022 at 22:23
  • I agree with @Esther. You're looking for a rigid solution using a flexible tool. If you gave us more examples, we could likely create a reasonable grammatically correct construct. The problem is, the more examples you give us, the more likely you'll include an example that will completely invalidate the construct we gave you. Helping a computer sound like a native language speaker is a very complicated task.
    – JBH
    May 31, 2022 at 22:44
  • @Esther I will take what you said.
    – Gqqnbig
    Jun 1, 2022 at 3:17

1 Answer 1

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English prefers to avoid using words repeatedly in close proximity. I doubt there's an official rule for that, but it makes sentences harder to understand (the mind loses track of what context was intended for a use of the repeated word). You can smooth out the sentences by placing the time qualifier at the beginning of the sentence.

After ten days the fan I purchased started making noise.

This sentence implies that the purchase was made ten days prior to the noise. If you require an explicit association, you can try something like this.

I purchased the fan ten days ago, but now it's making noise.

As with all things involving language, there are at least a dozen ways those sentences can be written. Returning to your examples, your sentence about a car is also improved by placing the time qualifier at the beginning of the sentence.

Five minutes after filling my car with gas, it's already empty!

But to show you how this isn't a rule, the sentence can also be written like this:

My car thinks it's empty, but I filled it with gas only five minutes ago!

and...

My car is empty only five minutes after filling it with gas.

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  • I agree with your improvements, but I'm looking for something that meets my part of speech. I want a constant construct where I can fill in a time period, and a noun or a noun phrase.
    – Gqqnbig
    May 31, 2022 at 22:05

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