0

Consider the phrase,

We need to watch our soda(Coco Cola) consumption, high soda consumption leads to health problems and obesity.

Consumption sounds like corporate jargon to me. Could somebody recommend less formal alternative? I am open to other constructions.

Improve this question
1
  • Not worthy of an answer, but worth bearing in mind is: there is often a tendency for people to use bigger words in order to sound more "authoritative", in the belief that people are more likely to do what you tell them to if you are speaking from a position of "authority". This reads like a case in point. It sounds an official communication from a government office.
    – Prime Mover
    Commented Jun 9, 2022 at 7:04

2 Answers 2

Reset to default
1

"We need to watch how much soda we drink".

Improve this answer
1
  • That's a good informal version of the first part of the text. You might consider rounding out your answer by adding something similar for the second part. Perhaps something like, "Drinking a lot of soda leads to health problems and obesity." Just a suggestion.
    – user8719
    Commented Jun 9, 2022 at 6:22
1

I don't see "consumption" as being corporate jargon. It sounds fine to me, albeit, as you suggest, perhaps a wee bit formal. An alternative would be "intake", but I suspect you'll see that as just as formal. If you do then I don't think you'll get much better than @SoronelHaetir's answer.

By the way, you have a comma splice in your sample text. It's possible that's contributing to the impression of corporate-speak.

Improve this answer

You must log in to answer this question.

Not the answer you're looking for? Browse other questions tagged .