In your opinion, is it appropriate to use the expression in conclusion in a formal letter? If not, how can I replace it?
Dear Ms Murphy,
I am writing to apply for the position of shop assistant in the music department of your department store, which I saw advertised in an article of the London Globe.
First of all, I must admit that I was thrilled to read about the possibility of working with music since I have been studying piano for eight years and I am also passionate about string instruments. Moreover, I am quite interested in today's music trends and how popular music genres have changed over the years.
In conclusion, considering my passion and interest regarding music, I would be delighted to be a shop assistant in your music department. I am available all summer and I would be happy to attend an interview at any time convenient to you.
I look forward to hearing from you.