I want to make a sentence meaning that "we have been living here since the day of our marriage" but is the latter part of the sentence correct? "My wife and I have been living here since we have been married." Or should I write "since we married."

Thank you so much.

  • Gramatically, this suggest that you are now past the point of having been married. Compare with, for example, 'since we have been eaten'. This sentence would only be correct if you got married in Vegas for a night, broke up the next morning but then moved in together.
    – Sanchises
    Sep 24, 2014 at 18:41
  • 1
    The example of "since we have been eaten" does not fit in here. The word married has been used as an adjective.
    – Khan
    Sep 25, 2014 at 5:07
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    The example of since we have been eaten does not fit in here. The word married has been used here as an adjective. Please see my answer below.
    – Khan
    Sep 25, 2014 at 5:11
  • An alternative phrasing: "My wife and I have been living here as long as we have been married." Sep 25, 2014 at 16:31

7 Answers 7


It's very common to use a get-passive with married:

My wife and I have been living here since we got married.

Most passives use be, but other verbs are possible as well: Pullum lists come, get, go, have, hear, make, need, and see. Most of these are relatively uncommon and each one has idiosyncratic rules for when it's appropriate. In this case get is appropriate because of married.

Your active version ("since we married") sounds less common but I think it's also acceptable. Your perfect be-passive version ("since we have been married") doesn't sound idiomatic to me, and I would avoid it in this case.

  • +1 this is the simplest and most natural sounding to me. :) definitely what I (a native English speaker) would say
    – Bobo
    Sep 24, 2014 at 17:58
  • It is a nice answer. However, I think the phrase "get-passive with married is too difficult for learners of English language. Cannot we simply say it is get+adjective(married) phrase?
    – Khan
    Sep 25, 2014 at 5:24
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    "Were married" would also work, though. It's less idiomatic, but not uncommon.
    – trlkly
    Sep 25, 2014 at 6:32
  • Trikly, you are right. I should have added it to my answer.
    – Khan
    Sep 25, 2014 at 7:40

Traditionally in the English speaking world, marriages started when a official presiding at a wedding married a couple. So most people, when referring to the state of being married say 'since we were married' (by the official) rather than any of the forms which imply they were the active party. Here's an n-gram showing a few variations, which points to 'were married' being the most common.


Yes, you should write "Since we married" because "Since" always followed by the past simple tense or the beginning time of the verb.

  • What do you mean with "beginning time of the verb"? The present, as in "since when do we have this rule"?
    – oerkelens
    Sep 24, 2014 at 14:23
  • @oerkelens "I've been swimming since three in the afternoon." I believe that three in the afternoon in this example is what mohamed is describing as "the beginning time of the verb".
    – user230
    Sep 24, 2014 at 16:07

Since, when used to indicate a duration, must be followed by a point-in-time reference; something has happened from that point in time until now. We have been married indicates a duration rather than a point in time, so it is not suitable for being used with since.

Idiomatically speaking, I would suggest the phrase "since the day we got married."


"Since" needs to be followed by an event (something you could describe by a single time and date). "We have been married" is a period of time (which you'd describe by a range of times/dates). You need to change the latter phrase to describe a point in time, not a period. "Since we got married" or "since we married" would both work.


The most natural sounding phrases to a native english speaker are:

"My wife and I have been living here since we were married", and

"My wife and I have been living here since we got married"

The phrases with "since we have been married" and "since we have married" are grammatically incorrect.

The phrase with "since we married" is grammatically correct but awkward sounding.


Magooda's answer is the best here.

What I would have said is "since we were married".

"Since we got married" also sounds natural.

"Since we married" is quite unnatural. It sounds like something only a non-native speaker would say.

The rest just sound wrong.

You could say "since we have been married" with some other kind of phrase, though, e.g. "My wife and I have lived here since we've been married".

But not "My wife and I have been living here since we've been married".

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