Is there any way to make the sentence below shorter?
If we don’t train hard enough this year, we won’t even be able to make it into the semi-final next year.
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Sure: If we want to play even in the semi-final next year, we must train hard enough this year. To reach even the semi-final next year, we must train hard enough this year. The implication of even is that the semi-final is a less ambitious goal than the final.– TimRCommented Dec 25, 2023 at 15:13
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Can we make it shorter by replacing “won’t be able to” with “can’t even”?– Chien Te LuCommented Dec 25, 2023 at 15:37
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1Yes, but won't is more idiomatic than can't in that particular scenario since the future is explicitly involved. "We can't make it into the semi-finals if we don't train hard enough."– TimRCommented Dec 25, 2023 at 16:19
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1"be able to make it into" could be replaced by reach, i.e. "won't even reach the semi-final . . ." Also "this year" is probably redundant, since you already mentioned "next year". It's kind of obvious that the training will be needed before the semi-final.– Billy KerrCommented Dec 26, 2023 at 16:21
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2I'm curious about why the OP wants this sentence shortened.– Shawn V. WilsonCommented Dec 27, 2023 at 21:30
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6 Answers
If you're simply looking for fewer words, eliminate the unnecessary ones:
If we don’t train hard
enoughthis year, we won’teven be able tomake itinto the semi-finalsnext year.
OR:
If we don't train hard this year, we won't make it to the semifinals.
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3Removing "next year" makes it sound like you're talking about this year's semifinals though, so I don't think you can remove that part. Commented Dec 26, 2023 at 22:43
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4That was partially on purpose. It doesn't make sense to me that you would be training hard this year for the semifinals next year. Perhaps "next year" refers to a schedule that crosses calendar years, but that's really this year (this season) to me. Commented Dec 27, 2023 at 3:09
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“make it to” can be shortened to “reach”, and “semifinals” to “semis”. And to keep the explicit temporal contrast but cut down length, you could keep “next year”, but replace “this year” with “now”. “If we don’t train hard now, we won’t reach the semis next year.”– PLLCommented Dec 27, 2023 at 12:19
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@JohnMontgomery you raise the key point. Indeed as I mention above, It would be unusual to refer to the NEXT season in this assemblage. By "next year" I think the writer means "next calendar year, ie, obviously I'm talking about THIS sports season"– FattieCommented Dec 27, 2023 at 15:27
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1"enough" is not unnecessary. Without "enough" it implies that training to any degree of "hard" is sufficient. I also agree with other @JohnMontgomery that "next year" is necessary. Commented Dec 27, 2023 at 22:09
If we don’t train hard enough this year, we won’t even be able to make it into the semi-final next year.
I agree with @TimR the significance of even. Without that, the target is unclear; readers may think the semi-final is the target.
I feel that won't even is a sufficient replacement for won’t even be able to. It is understood that teams taking part in tournaments would want to enter whichever subsequent rounds they are able to. There is no reason why they would choose not to.
If we don’t train hard this year, we won’t even enter the semi-final next year.
answered Dec 26, 2023 at 1:25
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I agree that "even" introduces the notion that the speaker has considered the finals. But I disagree that the finals are the target of this sentence. It's an implication -- its never actually stated, so I don't see how the finals can be the target when only the semifinals are mentioned. The speaker might be dismissing the finals, for example, "Forget the finals. If we don't train hard ..." Commented Dec 26, 2023 at 20:51
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Completely agree with @swmcdonnell Everyone knows and understands how sports works and when and how the various landmarks take place.– FattieCommented Dec 27, 2023 at 15:24
If you're willing to sacrifice/shift nuance for extreme brevity:
Train hard or forget the semi-finals.
Nuance shifts:
- Assumes the subject of "you" (or an implied "we") is understood.
- Elides any distinction between this year and next.
- Loses the implication by "won't even" that making it to the semi-finals is a sort of minimum goal (that may have been achieved or expected previously).
- Gains impact as a call-to-action compared to more verbose alternatives.
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6@Community I really think those sort of comments are uncivil. I don't find the answer unclear. If you do, you should explain how, rather than just posting boilerplate that at least to my eyes comes across as kinda passive aggressive. And to top it off, you're hiding behind the Community account rather than be willing to put your name on it, AND you're posting in response to a new contributor. Commented Dec 27, 2023 at 3:07
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3@Community: As it's currently written, your comment is unclear. Please comment with additional details that will explain what you find unclear about this answer.– kjhughesCommented Dec 27, 2023 at 4:16
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2Great answer, good thinking. (The comment at top is bizarre. The "bot" should be deleted.)– FattieCommented Dec 27, 2023 at 15:22
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1
If you want to pare it down to the bare minimum:
No train, no semi-finals.
another version:
If we don’t train hard enough now, we won’t even make it to the semi-finals next year.
One way to shorten the following sentence without losing the meaning would be to use some AI tool.
The way to do this would be to open up your favorite AI application and use the following prompt: Please shorten the following sentence without losing its meaning. If we don't train hard enough this year, we won't even be able to make it into the semi-final next year.
And the result might read something similar to the sentence below.
Insufficient training this year will prevent us from reaching next year's semi-final.
