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Do the following sentences mean the same?

  • Do you mind if I open the window?
  • Do you mind me opening the window?
  • Do you mind my opening the window?

for me they all mean the same, bit #3 is a little less common as far as I've seen so far. Do you agree with me?

PS. I am more about the AmE register.

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8 Answers 8

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The argument about the correctness of 'me' and 'my' has been going on for a long time. Jespersen and Fowler discussed this quite heatedly in the tracts of the Society for Pure English in the 1920s.

You will find writers of style guides who insist that only the possessive (my) is correct, but the use of the direct object pronoun (me) is widely accepted these days.

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  • In other words, people shouldn't look down on you (and your education) for saying it the second way, but some will. People shouldn't look down on you (and your pompousness) for saying it the third way, but some will. Depends on the social context which one you should use if you've opted not to simply use if.
    – lly
    Commented Apr 6, 2017 at 12:56
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They are all three spoken every day here in the US. But "me opening" is regarded as substandard.

Do you mind if I open the window? Polite and normal.

Do you mind my opening the window? Polite, educated.

Do you mind me opening the window? Polite, uneducated or partially educated.

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All the three sentences have the same meaning, with the only difference that the third one "do you mind my opening the window?" is formal.

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According to The Elements of Style (4th edition):

Do you mind me asking a question?

Do you mind my asking a question?

In the first sentence, the queried objection is to me, as opposed to other members of the group, asking a question. In the second example, the issue is whether a question may be asked at all.

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Alright but nobody says "I see his crossing the road." It is always "I see him crossing the road". Where is the logic in saying "Do you mind my opening the window?" To me the only recourse is to assume you meant to say "Do you mind me crossing the road?" I am going to assume that the speaker is a non native speaker of English and hasn't learned to speak English properly.

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  • It is good if you indicate the resources that prompted your answer.
    – fev
    Commented Dec 23, 2020 at 15:10
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in an formal style it is more common to use object forms (like me,john) instead of possessives (my,john's) with -ing forms.

e.g:Do you mind me smoking

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It should be 'I'/"my", but I heard my prof. who is a native (British English) saying "mind me closing the door"and "to me being late".

It would be interesting to see other comments on the usage.

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Do you mind if I open the window? Is normal. As well, it is the only one where the standard inversion of the question still makes sense.

If I open the window, do you mind?

Saying, My opening the window, do you mind? Is not normal.

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