http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hyperbaton exemplifies with Say Not the Struggle Naught Availeth:

[1.] For while the tired waves, vainly breaking,
Seem here no painful inch to gain,
[2.] Far back through creeks and inlets making,
Came, silent, flooding in, the main.

[3.] And not by eastern windows only,
When daylight comes, comes in the light,
In front the sun climbs slow, how slowly,
But westward, look, the land is bright.

How do you determine/deduce the correct order of words? I tried to reshuffle the bolded as follows:

1. For while the the tired waves + seem + vainly breaking + here, no painful inch to gain.

2. Did I reconstruct [2.] correctly as follows?

The main + Came, silent, flooding in + Far back through creeks and + making + inlets.

3. How do you reorganise the last four lines?

When daylight comes, + the light + comes in + And not by eastern windows only,
+ I'd keep the rest the same. Is this right?


Not as clear as Coleridge, eh?

For while the tired, vainly breaking waves seem to gain no painful inch here, far back, the silent main (i.e. sea), making [its way] though creeks and inlets, came flooding in.

And the light comes in not only by eastern windows when daylight comes; in front the sun climbs slow[ly], how slowly; but look westward -- the land [there in the west] is bright.

EDIT: Not sure why you prefer replies to comments to appear as part of the answer, but...

I find this use of hyperbaton excessive. But as they say, de gustibus...

  • +1. Thank you effusively for your continual care. Do you intend to imply something with 'Not as clear as Coleridge, eh?'? The hyperbaton is much more severe here and mystifies me more, but is this a good or bad? – Greek - Area 51 Proposal Oct 30 '14 at 14:13
  • Will you please to respond in your answer, and not as a comment? – Greek - Area 51 Proposal Oct 30 '14 at 14:14
  • I personally regard the hyberbaton there as excessive and undesirable. Many modern poets in the early 20th century revolted against such artifice and opted for a more natural use of language. – Tᴚoɯɐuo Oct 30 '14 at 14:16

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