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Does the sentence mean that I feel very sad and because of that we can't talk tonight or does it mean that I feel very sad because we can't talk tonight? Or can it mean both?

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    It can mean both. The emphasis plays the role of deciding which one to choose. I'm curious about how it's going to do that.
    – M.A.R.
    Jan 4, 2015 at 18:11

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It can mean both. Which it means will be determined by the discourse context. For instance:

I know we were supposed to meet for dinner to discuss the Anderson report, but my favorite uncle John just died and I feel so sad that we can't talk tonight.

Congratulations on your invitation! I know taking part in this conference will mean a great deal to your career, and you really have to attend. But I feel so sad that we can't talk tonight; I was really looking forward to seeing you. Have fun!

Context is a very large part of language; really, nothing means anything without context.

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It can mean both, but it would be better to write 'that I can't talk to you tonight', if you want to say that you are sad. And if u mean the other meaning, avoid using 'so'.

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