Which sentence does sound more natural to you?

1: The main reason for selecting this approach is to incorporate the benefits of data and statistics and the advantages of expert judgment.


2: The main reason for selection of this approach is the incorporation of benefits of data and statistics and advantages of expert judgment.

  • Natural? Both are highly artful; wuold you rather sound awkward and tentative? 1 is better for having avoided all those tedious and pretentious nominalizations, but both would be better if you could find some alternative to contrasting benefits and advantages. – StoneyB on hiatus Mar 25 '13 at 2:59

Number 1 sounds and reads better because number 2 merely adds words that do no work (for selecting => for selection of; to incorporate => the incorporation of) but cause the reader to have to do more work to read what has been written. This verbose style is typical of academic prose, which is almost always bloated and stilted. Avoid unnecessary words.

There is probably a better way of expressing the point these sentences make:

This approach was chosen because it provides data, statistics, and expert judgments.

Is that an acceptable revision?

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  • Thank you, Bill. While I agree with you on the overly academical style, the sentence actually belongs to an academic article. – SunnyBoyNY Mar 29 '13 at 3:12

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