I need to write this letter which introduces the person from our project to UNDP to get his/her payments. The letter includes the name of the person, the amount he/she is going to receive and his/her job title in our project.

Can I write something like this?

"Dear sirs
This letter is to introduce Mr/Miss Jones who works as the translator in our project and has accomplished the following codes of the action plan. Please release the payment.
Enclosed you may find the terms of reference and the action plan"

I know "please release the payment" is stupid. I'm not native so I don't know how to formally write letters, especially to UNDP.

closed as off-topic by Maulik V, pyobum, Em1, user6951, Chenmunka Mar 10 '15 at 12:21

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  • What is unep or undp? "Please release payment" isn't actually that uncommon in business settings, I think... particularly when talking to people who deal with payroll. – Catija Mar 10 '15 at 7:08
  • it's United Nations Development Programme. In this case i am refering to undp office in our country. the person is going to receive his/her payment by giving them this letter – john Mar 10 '15 at 7:10
  • I am mostly worried about the format. – john Mar 10 '15 at 7:11
  • @john you need some lessons in how to write, period. You begin sentences with a capital letter, you put acronyms in all caps, you capitalize 'Miss' just like 'Sir', and you end sentences with a period (called a full stop in British English). – user6951 Mar 10 '15 at 11:30

Firstly, don't address the recipient ever as "Dear sirs" There is a good chance that the person reading the letter may be female, and an even better chance that not all men work at that place of business.

please release the payment enclosed

This kind of sounds like you enclosed, provided a payment with the letter.

This letter is to introduce Mr/miss Jones

You don't know the gender of the person that will be receiving/handling your money? Do you at least know the person's first name? This would come off as possible spam, scam, but at the very least awkward. Just say the person's full name, let's pretend it's John!

please release the payment enclosed you may find the terms of reference and the action plan

So they have to submit the payment before they can find the terms of reference and action plan? Or is the terms of reference and action plan included in the letter/envelope already? It's unclear what you're saying here. I'll just go with you have that included until you say otherwise.

So I'd write it formally like this:

This letter is to introduce you to John Jones who works as the translator in our project. He has accomplished the following codes of the action plan, which is attached to this letter for reference along with the terms of reference. Please submit payment for the bill enclosed.

  • I think that the OP just missed a period after release the payment If you read it that way, it makes more sense. – Catija Mar 10 '15 at 7:26
  • excellent. I edited my post. there is a "." after payment. the sentence closes there and starts with enclosed. also if i want to say how much the person is supposed to get. please release payment of "4000$" to the person? or the payment is as follows " 4000$" – john Mar 10 '15 at 7:29
  • "Please submit payment for the bill enclosed." does it mean that I'm going to say the amount later? – john Mar 10 '15 at 7:32
  • @john I thought you included a bill. If not, definitely say the amount. "Please submit the payment of $4000" or "Please pay the amount of $4000 by April 2nd, 2015" (whatever the date it's due) or "Please make a payment for the amount due ($4000), which is due immediately." (if it's due right away) – CRABOLO Mar 10 '15 at 7:38
  • And: Start with "Dear Sir or Madam.". – Stephie Mar 10 '15 at 9:47

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