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  1. "I asked my mother, and she said [that] he can go with us."
  2. "I asked my mother, and she says [that] he can go with us."
  3. "I asked my mother, and she said [that] he could go with us."

Can we say that №№ 1 and 2 can only be said before or during their "going"? Can we say that № 3 can be said at any moment, that is before, during and after their going?

Could we take number 3 &2 as a fact, fir instance, and 2&3 can be said at any moment?!

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Although I generally agree with what you wrote, whether you're quoting your mother directly or indirectly can influence interpretation.

1a. I asked my mother and she said, "He can go with us." [direct quote]
can be said at any moment (before, during, or after going)

1b. I asked my mother and she said that he can go with us. [indirect quote]
before going is implied

2a. *I asked my mother and she says, "He can go with us." [direct quote]
unclear, ambiguous; avoid mixing tenses;
sounds to me like someone telling a story badly, "Goldilocks opened the door and sees three bowls on the table."

2b. I asked my mother and she says that he can go with us. [indirect quote]
before going is implied

3a. I asked my mother and she said, "He could go with us." [direct quote]
can be said at any moment (before, during, or after going)

3b. I asked my mother and she said that he could go with us. [indirect quote]
can be said at any moment (before, during, or after going)

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