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I am talking about a scene in which we see a dead mother and her son, who were killed by ISIS, and I want to criticize those who don't show any reactions to this crime, just watch that scene. I want to ask them indirectly: "Don't you have conscience? Why don't you show any reactions?" I thought I could use this sentence, to covey my thoughts:

Whose conscience can remain indifferent in the face of such a heartbreaking scene?

I want to focus on "conscience" in this sentence. Can we use the phrase "whose conscience" at all and does it convey what I'm trying to say?

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    Welcome to ELL :-). Proofreading is off-topic here and questions like this one get closed quickly. If you write your opinion whether the sentence is grammatical and why (pinpoint the area of concern) you will probably get some good answers :-). Please see this meta post and the help centre for more information. Thanks! – Lucky Jun 26 '15 at 16:24
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    @Soudabeh I would not delete it but instead edit it. I would edit it to something like this: "here is what I want to convey. Here is my sentence. Does 'whose conscience' sound natural? How can I make the sentence sound more natural?" – DJMcMayhem Jun 26 '15 at 17:45
  • I think @DJMcMayhem has given you some very good advice. It is very helpful to understand what the sentence is trying to say exactly when attempting to think of different wording. What we suggest might not be correct for your meaning if we aren't certain of what you hope to say. – ColleenV Jun 26 '15 at 17:57
  • Thanks :) I'm a newcomer, and at first I was thinking that "proofreading" is possible in this website . Ok! You are all totally right.:) can I ask you to edit it , suppose that I am talking about a scene in which we see a dead mother and her son, who were killed by ISIS, and I want to criticize whom don't show any reactions to this crimes, just watch those scenes ! I want to focus on "conscience" in this sentence., can we use "whose conscience" at all? – Soudabeh Jun 26 '15 at 18:03
  • I changed my question, but it is still on hold":(( – Soudabeh Jun 26 '15 at 18:15
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Can we use the phrase "whose conscience" at all?

This is perfectly acceptable. Nouns can be preceded by any possessive modifier, such as my conscience, your conscience, or Jim's conscience. Whose is simply the possessive that means that the possessor is the more abstract who.

Does it convey what I'm trying to say?

I think it conveys it accurately and with a strong, imperative style. Conscience means "the inner sense of what is right or wrong in one's conduct or motives, impelling one toward right action" (Dictionary.com). By making an appeal to the reader's conscience, you are implying that they should feel some horror or moral repugnance, which fits perfectly with what you are trying to say.

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