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I am writing the first sentence of a cover letter, where I want to introduce myself as very interested in some topic and also mention that I recently graduated.

I am passionate about topic A. I recently obtained degree B.

to avoid the repetition of I, is it possible to rephrase the sentence as:

Passionate about topic A, I recently obtained degree B.?

3 Answers 3

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Passionate about topic A, I recently obtained degree B

Passionate is something one is, and it's not a verb in itself. So this technically makes "passionate about topic A" a dangling phrase that doesn't connect to anything directly, though it's obvious and easy to figure out what is meant here.

It should be this, though:

Being passionate about topic A, I recently obtained degree B.

You can also just do this:

I am passionate about topic A, and recently obtained degree B.

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  • thanks a lot. Wouldn't the first of your propositions being passionate imply a weird causation link between A and B (i.e., I obtained degree B because I am passionate about topic A?).
    – Antoine
    Aug 7, 2015 at 12:48
  • It would imply that. It would not be weird, though - it would be OK to say you got a degree in something because you were passionate in something else, unless A and B were totally unrelated. If they are unrelated, you might say "I am passionate about A, but I recently obtained degree B."
    – LawrenceC
    Aug 7, 2015 at 12:52
  • the problem is indeed that A and B are unrelated!
    – Antoine
    Aug 7, 2015 at 12:53
  • @Antoine: No. The problem is that for some unknown reason you want to combine the two unrelated things into a single sentence. That simply makes no sense. Aug 7, 2015 at 15:28
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Yes, you can rephrase it as so but with a few changes. I would change it to:

Being passionate about topic A, I have recently obtained a degree in B.

To replace the words topic A, you can put what you are interested in.

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  • thanks. Please see the comment I made to the answer above.
    – Antoine
    Aug 7, 2015 at 12:50
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For a cover letter, it is important to provide details. A good and sound background to support ideas may help:

"I am ____. I recently obtained a degree in 'B' for (add your reason for taking degree B), though my real passion is in A; hence, I am writing this letter to provide my intent to _____."

e.g.,

"I am ____. I recently obtained a degree in Biology to support our family business, though my real passion is Painting; hence, I am writing this letter to provide my intent to (apply for/secure) ____."

Tips:

I think repetitive use of 'I' cannot be avoided. you are sending a letter for some purpose, the structure of your argument is more important.

Since your degree 'B' is unrelated to 'A', make sure you provide instances where you have shown your undying passion for 'A'. (e.g., you are a member of this organization for 'A'). I think the issue here is not only on how we will connect the sentences, but also on how we will provide sound arguments regarding the unrelated ideas 'A' and 'B'.

However, if your only need is to connect the ideas 'A' and 'B', simply use "but/though/however" (as provided in previous answers). But you are still required to explain why took up 'B', though your passion is 'A'. Good luck!

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