0

I have the sentence below. This sentence can be split into separate parts, but I'm confused by the use of colons. I added the first colon, because I want to list my career goals:

  1. Become an expert.
  2. understand all data life cycles.

With the second colon I list life cycles:

  1. From mainframes
  2. To implemented software products

I'm guaranteed "XXX" is a place where I can achieve my career goals: become a big data expert and understand all data life cycles: from mainframes where data is stored to an implemented software products for a better life of business.

Improve this question
5
  • Thank you for accepting my answer, but a suggestion: leave the question open a couple of days: more people will look at it and you can get even better answers.
    – laureapresa
    Sep 6 '15 at 9:35
  • 1
    Not that you asked, but there are plenty of other problems with that sentence. "I'm guaranteed..." is wrong; I am guessing you meant "I am sure..." "become a big data expert" is ambiguous: an expert in big data, or a big expert in data?
    – Brian Hitchcock
    Sep 6 '15 at 10:02
  • "mainframes" and "implemented software products" are not types of lifecyvles; they are things, not processes. Also "an" calls for singular "product"—if you mean multiple "products", leave the "an" out.
    – Brian Hitchcock
    Sep 6 '15 at 10:06
  • "a better life of business" is not idiomatic. Businesses might have a lifecyvle, buy one would not say a business has a "better life". If you mean that you want to have a bettrr life, say "a bettrr life in business".
    – Brian Hitchcock
    Sep 6 '15 at 10:09
  • @BrianHitchcock thank of your suggestions. I have in mind "an expert in big data". Using "a better life of business" i have in mind about software for help in business (etc. exel). Using your suggestions I change my sentence to <br> 'become an expert in big data and understand all, from mainframes where data is stored physically to implemented software products for (help of business in daily jobs)(business daily jobs)'
    – Edgaras Karka
    Sep 6 '15 at 10:22
1

I'd use the first colon because you are really listing your career goals, one after the other. However, I always find the use of multiple colons in one sentence ugly. I was taught this in primary school in my mother tongue and never shook it off.

The good thing is that you put "from... to..."; it's not a simple list, but I read it as a range of skills/life cycles and you want to be an expert from one end of the spectrum to the other. It can flow elegantly with the simple use of a comma

I'm guaranteed "XXX" is a place where I can achieve my career goals: become a big data expert and understand all data life cycles, from mainframes where data is stored to an implemented software products for a better life of business.

Improve this answer

Your Answer

By clicking “Post Your Answer”, you agree to our terms of service, privacy policy and cookie policy

Not the answer you're looking for? Browse other questions tagged or ask your own question.