English is not my main language, but I'm quite a perfectionist so I always try to improve it.
In a recent message to a British coworker, I've written the following sentence:
The delivery record shows that the aforementioned shipment to (addressee's address), was collected by the addressee after being identified by means of ID card on (date) at (time) from the (road name) Post Office, (place).
I don't know why, but the 2nd half of the sentence, starting from "after being identified..." doesn't sound too good in my head. How would you say it in British English?