I don't understand the bolded phrases in "Love is not blind" by Edna St. Vincent Millay:
Love is not blind. I see with single eye
Your ugliness and other women's grace.
I know the imperfection of your face,
The eyes too wide apart, the brow too high
For beauty. Learned from earliest youth am I
In loveliness, and cannot so erase
Its letters from my mind, that I may trace
You faultless, I must love until I die.
More subtle is the sovereignty of love:
So am I caught that when I say, "Not fair,"
'Tis but as if I said, "Not here—not there
Not risen--not writing letters." Well I know
What is this beauty men are babbling of;
I wonder only why they prize it so.
When she says "not fair" about her beloved ("he or she is not beautiful"), it is as if she said: "Not here--not there / Not risen—not writing letters". But what could this mean?
She "catches" herself at some observation, but I don't understand this.