She blames me when the fault is hers. This happens usually when we are in front of our relatives. She twists statements and/or exaggerates when she wants to complain about me to my father or to our relatives.

When neighbours say something negative about my appearance or my behaviour, she lectures me instead of telling that person to stop commenting. Reason she states is that it is embrassing for her to hear all this, so I should mend my behaviour. She doesn't want to hear logic or any counter argument.

Yet, she wonders why I don't love her.

So, the question is what the word to describe such a mother?

In hindi the word is Kumata*. What is it in English?

*NOTE: Mata means 'mother'. Ku mata means 'bad mother'. Similarly there is putra for 'son', and kuputra for 'bad son'. These are Sanskrit words.

  • From what root is the word kumata derived from? Are there related words? Does it have other meanings? Commented Dec 28, 2015 at 13:08
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    @CopperKettle mata means mother. Ku mata means bad mother. Similarly there is putra for son, and kuputra for bad son. These are sanskrit words Commented Dec 28, 2015 at 13:10
  • An all-purpose pejorative is bitch.
    – TimR
    Commented Dec 28, 2015 at 13:45
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    A less strong word that I think possible: a difficult mother. Commented Dec 28, 2015 at 14:03
  • @TRomano True, but that could refer to any female, not just one's mother. And it could refer to a wide variety of personal failings, not just accusing one's children of one's own faults.
    – Jay
    Commented Dec 28, 2015 at 14:38

2 Answers 2


I don't think there's a single word in English for "bad mother" in general. We would generally say "bad mother".

Nor is there a single word for "mother who blames her children for something bad that she did herself". That's getting very specific. If you want to express that specific an idea, you almost always have to use a phrase to describe what you mean.

  • Well, then I have edited the question. Thanks for your answer though. Commented Dec 28, 2015 at 16:48
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    We would also say she is not a good mother. By saying this, we are saying she is bad mother, not that she is either a bad mother or a neutral mother. The mention of the opposite, positive, desirable quality good makes not a good stronger than bad in some contexts. On the other hand, we can just use other adjectives and say, straightforwardly, she is a terrible mother.
    – GoDucks
    Commented Dec 28, 2015 at 17:05

If this is a general pattern of behavior where she can't accept blame from anybody, insists that all good ideas she touches came from her, and always finds a way to make any issues about her (and how she has to suffer through them because of you) even when they shouldn't involve her at all, this could be a case of narcissistic personality disorder.

Narcissicism means self obsessed, and it comes from a Greek myth. The personality disorder is actually a recognized mental health issue. The person likely can't help it. This term doesn't just apply to mothers or women, it could apply to anyone, and the personality disorder isn't very widely known, but I've seen it before.

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