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My opinion is that making people aware of the benefits of getting a Masters degree is important because although everybody knows education is good, many people are reluctant to get a Masters dgeree since they don't know the benefits of that. Therefore, I would love to make them aware of that.

Can you help me and tell me how I can express the above sentence in a better manner and structure? I see it has since and because in the same sentence and also has because although.

  • Your sentences are lacking because although they have subject and predicate, they cannot simply be understood since they don't provide sufficient context. Therefore, provide context as much as possible. – shin Dec 29 '15 at 19:47
  • You can try to start the sentence in a different place. For example, "Everybody knows education is good, but..." – Tᴚoɯɐuo Dec 29 '15 at 20:08
  • I want to start the sentence by something about me, not a fact. – Sus20200 Dec 29 '15 at 20:15
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    It reads parenthetic to me: ...a Masters degree is important because (although everybody knows education is good) many people are... – lurker Dec 29 '15 at 20:51
  • Note: It's generally written as "master's degree" in American English. Also, your sentence is talking in circles. You're not saying anything because both halves of your sentence are saying the same thing and it's incredibly redundant. – Catija Dec 29 '15 at 21:46
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Other than the ambiguous "that" at the end of the first sentence, there is nothing grammatically incorrect. However, the sentence is a bit awkward, and the argument could be clarified. Here's a possible rewrite:

In my opinion, making people aware of the benefits of a Masters degree is important because, even though everyone knows that education is good in general, many people aren't aware of the specific benefits of a Masters degree, and are therefore reluctant to pursue one. I would like to make them aware of those benefits.

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