What is the polite way to show your appreciation when someone waits for you to enter an entrance before they do?They usually say "after you"? What I am supposed to answer?
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3Of course "No, after you!" :-) And then it all ends up in a Monty Python sketch.– Peter - Reinstate MonicaFeb 17, 2016 at 11:00
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Something that does not result in an indefinite loop of politeness. "Thank you!" should do the job.– lejonetFeb 17, 2016 at 14:04
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Yeah.That's what I thought as well. It is mainly to colleagues and contact persons of other companies.– MaryamFeb 17, 2016 at 21:51
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4 Answers
You basically have two choices
Thank you
Thank you that's very kind
and continue walking in, or saying
No, please, after you
Please, no, after you
stopping before entering, extending your arm to hold the door open, and then holding the door while the person previously holding the door for you passes through.
Protocol dictates that if a person has been holding the door, say for a large party to go through, you would relieve that person of such duty, if you are suitably able, when it becomes your turn to pass. The other person may or may not be travelling in the same direction as you are.
Protocol also dictates that the least burdened holds the door, with the exception of
Chivalrous custom which dictates Ladies First except when going through revolving doors
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2Choice #2 can lead to the Gentleman's Deadlock, where both parties stand repeating "No, after you...", "after you, I insist...", "no please, after YOU..." and so on until the crack of doom. Feb 16, 2016 at 18:19
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@OwenBoyle Crack of doom is an interesting phrase I've never heard before.– EraFeb 16, 2016 at 21:37
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1@OwenBoyle That would be a livelock in computer scientists' terms instead of deadlock :) Feb 17, 2016 at 2:14
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1common sense also asks that the person exiting goes through the door first, and that the person that has to pull the door to open it holds it to the person on the other side. those can be contradictory, though.– njzk2Feb 17, 2016 at 5:17
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In the US, public building code dictates that entry doorways open outwards for obvious safety reasons. Residential doors are allowed to open inwards for security reasons due to hinge placement and lower traffic volumes.– PeterFeb 17, 2016 at 5:31
"Thank you" is always the polite way to voice your appreciation in English.
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You could also say, adding a measure of jocularity, "Why, Thank You!"– user30286Feb 18, 2016 at 18:35
The correct is to say "thank you" and to go through.
Insisting that a woman, older person, etc., go through before you, when they have expressed a preference that you go first, would be less respectful than honoring their preference.
I once almost got into a deadlock situation in an elevator with a distinguished computer scientist (Turing Award winner) when I was a graduate student. When the elevator door opened, I automatically paused to let my superior exit first, while he, an older gentleman, waited for me to exit, my being a woman. As soon as I realized what was going on, I exited, thinking that more respectful than insisting on my preferred protocol.
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3And let me guess, you ended up trying to eat dinner with him but no one could ever get two forks at the same time? Feb 17, 2016 at 14:36
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If it's a friend and you want to tease them, you can decline their offer, and hold the door for them, by saying something like,
"no, no, after you, age before beauty"
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4This can be extremely cheeky and potentially very offensive, especially to female friends. I would be very careful about this - they would have to be very close friends and have the right sense of humour. Otherwise you'll just seem like a smarmy jerk.– J...Feb 18, 2016 at 14:31