Is "when back home" correct?

Question

I was trying to create a story:

If he wanted to hurt me, I probably wouldn´t have had any chance to fight him or hide somewhere. I could fell he was a very kind person, even though we didn´t talk much. I was so relieved when, after a few-minute walk, I could see a village and felt I was saved. It was the worst nightmare I had ever experienced. For me it was to vivid to fall asleep when back home.

when back home = it was supposed to mean that I couldn´t fall asleep that one night when I came back home after the "horror" journey. Is this correct?

Answer 1

Use "once I was back home" or "once I got back home.

1. Once vs when...

Once and when could both be used here generally speaking. However, using "once" here means that something is happening quickly after you arrive home. It's a little more dramatic and seems to match the tone of your story.

Using "when" also implies an order of events, but is a little more relaxed.

"Once" also makes it sound like it was a little more difficult to get back home.

2. Adding "I was" or "I got" to the sentence.

"When back home" is understandable in context, but "when I got back home" is clearer to the reader. It also proves to the reader that you did, in fact, go home. In some contexts, "when back home" could be read as "when I get back home". So the reader may think you are talking about the future instead of the present.

Answer 2

For me it was too vivid to fall asleep when back home.

can be ambiguous in your example and needs more context

For me it was too vivid to fall asleep when I got back home.

means after you arrived where you currently live.