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I would like to know if the following sentences are correct, i.e. do we need any commas here?- If you see a way to improve their structure, please let me know.

I would like to gain insight into his work he did together with my sister on air pollution.

Regarding this sentence, I was wondering whether there is a better word than "did" to describe a joint project work and is it correct to use no commas here?

The study of air pollution conducted, among others, by my sister is innovative.

Regarding this one, is the usage of the word among others correct here and do we need to put this phrase between two commas?

So that upon taking a course on air pollution, I will be able to understand her work better.

Regarding this one, is it okay to start a sentence like that or are there ways to express this in a nicer way (I have the felling that so that sounds a bit sloppy, but I don't know)

If you have any questions about this, please let me know.

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  • I prefer the work over his with. Put by my sister first. Last one is not a complete sentence. Maybe drop so that? Upon still sounds a little stiff though.
    – shawnt00
    Commented Feb 21, 2016 at 18:49

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I would like to gain insight into his work he did together with my sister on air pollution.

You can replace did with lots of other verbs (performed, accomplished, etc.) It depends on what they "did". I don't see any need for commas.

The study of air pollution conducted, among others, by my sister is innovative.

Yes, phrases like this can be set off with commas. The sentence, without the phrase, is still a complete sentence.

So that upon taking a course on air pollution, I will be able to understand her work better.

Using so that is OK if you want to connect the topic of this sentence to a previous one. But if this is a separate topic, leave it out. Comma use is OK.on

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