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Can you help me on this sentence? My brain got locked and could not write it right. I feel it's shaky especially at "... the data (that) the buyer based...". Do I have to leave that or should I remove it.

"This offer is subject to decrease as the data the buyer based its offer on will change due to the car utilization until the car retires on April."

  • You don't need that, but you could add a couple of commas to break it up since it is a bit long with several topics, after decrease and utilization. – user3169 Mar 2 '16 at 17:31
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This offer is subject to decrease as the data the buyer based its offer on will change due to the car utilization until the car retires on April.

The offer itself cannot decrease. Some term of the offer is subject to decrease or increase. It seems you want to say that something will be based on actual, rather than projected, utilization, and since it's a car, it seems the utilization would be based on miles driven?

The purchase price (?) of this offer is subject to decrease depending on the car's actual mileage.

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Here is one from me:

This offer is subject to decrease/change based on buyer's offer's details/terms/conditions/rules, as car utilization until the car retires on April.

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    Please edit to include an explanation of why this is correct; answers without explanation do not teach the patterns of the language well. – Nathan Tuggy Mar 2 '16 at 15:51

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