I wrote this sentence :

>Also, the courses will hone my abilities in information gathering and analysis, information digitization, and development of appropriate applications.

but a friend edit it to me and wrote.
>Also, these courses will hone my  abilities to gather, digitize, and analyze information while developing  applications appropriate for each user in every situation.

Please notice that he used `while`. I think it is not correct grammatically, what do you think?