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I'm wondering whether I should use "can" or "could" in the following.

How can / could I concentrate with you breathing down my neck all the time?

I'd appreciate your help.

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    What's the context? For example, if it's said in relation to past behaviour or a past situation, use could. If for present or continuing, use can.
    – Lawrence
    Commented Nov 19, 2016 at 2:21
  • Thank you for your first question! We need more context to give you a useful answer, though. As Lawrence says, either can or could might be appropriate here. Please read our tour and Help Center pages, and also our Details, Please meta post. They will help you write a better question.
    – P. E. Dant Reinstate Monica
    Commented Nov 19, 2016 at 2:26
  • I knew some of you would say "could" is the past tense of "can". But unfortunately, that's irrelevant to the question, even if it's a fact. "Could" seems to be the choice in a rhetorical question, e.g. "How could we possibly work together? You never trust me.". In this case, "could" has nothing to do with the past or irrealis mood.
    – Apollyon
    Commented Nov 19, 2016 at 3:18
  • There's no context, as it is taken from a dictionary.
    – Apollyon
    Commented Nov 19, 2016 at 4:11
  • 2
    The point is that without context, there is no way to answer your question. In one context, we would say "How can I concentrate with you breathing down my neck all the time?" In another context, we would say "How could I concentrate with you breathing down my neck all the time?" If we were talking about the present, we would use the former. If we were talking about the past or future, we might use the latter. Did you use the search field to look for other questions like yours?
    – P. E. Dant Reinstate Monica
    Commented Nov 19, 2016 at 4:24

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In a comment, you said that you knew that "could" is the past tense of "can" and therefore, this is irrelevant to the question.

With the way the question was asked, no context was given, so therefore the comments given were not irrelevant as they are stating facts.

You need to write the question in a way which is clear to others what you are asking in order to get the answer you need.

In the same comment you said

"Could" seems to be the choice in a rhetorical question, e.g. "How could we possibly work together? You never trust me.". In this case, "could" has nothing to do with the past or irrealis mood.

Now, when you are making a rhetorical question, you are not actually asking a question. You are talking to the other person (or people) with the aim to produce an effect or to make a statement rather than to elicit information.

A rhetorical question can be expressed in terms intended to persuade or to impress the importance of a "fact", so therefore, rhetorics can be used in the irrealis mood, as you can have a subjunctive mood,

If I loved you, do you think I would do that?

jussive or imperative moods

Paul, can you do your homework now?

as well as other moods in them.

So in answer to your question, the following is used in their relevant ways.

Past tense

How could I concentrate with you breathing down my neck all the time?

Present tense

How can I concentrate with you breathing down my neck all the time?

Rhetorical

You can use either of the two statements but with emphasis on the word can and my neck

How can I concentrate with you breathing down my neck all the time?

Or with emphasis on the words could and my neck with the most effect possible given in the future tense

How could I concentrate with you breathing down my neck all the time?

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Here, the speaker is asking of how he or she will be able to concentrate. Talking about ability #can is appropriate to describe a present ability. The sentence does not contain possibility or polite request. Another possibility, the speaker might mean that if he were able , he could concentrate, but he wasn't able, so this is unreal past. How could i concentrate with you breathing on my neck? To mean that he couldn't in reality. The same main clause which is he could concentrate is used in a form of question. Instead of saying, i could concentrate with you, if you were not breathing on my neck, he used the interrogative form, how could i concentrate with you breathing on my neck? For more information read about unreal past

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