I'm wondering whether I should use "can" or "could" in the following.
How can / could I concentrate with you breathing down my neck all the time?
I'd appreciate your help.
I'm wondering whether I should use "can" or "could" in the following.
How can / could I concentrate with you breathing down my neck all the time?
I'd appreciate your help.
In a comment, you said that you knew that "could" is the past tense of "can" and therefore, this is irrelevant to the question.
With the way the question was asked, no context was given, so therefore the comments given were not irrelevant as they are stating facts.
You need to write the question in a way which is clear to others what you are asking in order to get the answer you need.
In the same comment you said
"Could" seems to be the choice in a rhetorical question, e.g. "How could we possibly work together? You never trust me.". In this case, "could" has nothing to do with the past or irrealis mood.
Now, when you are making a rhetorical question, you are not actually asking a question. You are talking to the other person (or people) with the aim to produce an effect or to make a statement rather than to elicit information.
A rhetorical question can be expressed in terms intended to persuade or to impress the importance of a "fact", so therefore, rhetorics can be used in the irrealis mood, as you can have a subjunctive mood,
If I loved you, do you think I would do that?
jussive or imperative moods
Paul, can you do your homework now?
as well as other moods in them.
So in answer to your question, the following is used in their relevant ways.
Past tense
How could I concentrate with you breathing down my neck all the time?
Present tense
How can I concentrate with you breathing down my neck all the time?
Rhetorical
You can use either of the two statements but with emphasis on the word can and my neck
How can I concentrate with you breathing down my neck all the time?
Or with emphasis on the words could and my neck with the most effect possible given in the future tense
How could I concentrate with you breathing down my neck all the time?
Here, the speaker is asking of how he or she will be able to concentrate. Talking about ability #can is appropriate to describe a present ability. The sentence does not contain possibility or polite request. Another possibility, the speaker might mean that if he were able , he could concentrate, but he wasn't able, so this is unreal past. How could i concentrate with you breathing on my neck? To mean that he couldn't in reality. The same main clause which is he could concentrate is used in a form of question. Instead of saying, i could concentrate with you, if you were not breathing on my neck, he used the interrogative form, how could i concentrate with you breathing on my neck? For more information read about unreal past