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From Cambridge Dictionary

Our conversation came to an abrupt end when George burst into the room.

Assume this is what Ronald is saying to tell me what he had been through yesterday. He was talking with Christopher in a room, which is referred to as "our conversation" above. All of a sudden, George burst into that room, which caused that conversation came to an abrupt end.

When Ronald is telling me the story, I was not in that conversation whereas he uses "our conversation", where "our" obviously does not include me. Is it a use of "our/we"? When it would confuse anybody, it is safe to use it.

In contrast, if a young lady talks to me "we had a baby", although that doesn't confuse me, it might mislead someone else, so I will say immediately response "I never did anything to you".

Is there any other typical situations regarded as safe?

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  • Before saying that, Ronald would presumably have said something like "Christopher and I were talking about [subject]", which would have made it clear who 'our' refers to. Commented Jun 3, 2020 at 8:03

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English simply does not differentiate between the inclusive and exclusive first person plural. There is no way to indicate whether the addressee is included or excluded aside from using more words to say so explicitly.

It's therefore generally "safe" to use the first person plural pronoun here. Native speakers use inference to determine the meaning. If someone says to me "we had a baby," I presume that "we" denotes the speaker and the speaker's partner unless the context suggests otherwise (for example, if the speaker is my partner).

If the existing context leaves the meaning ambiguous, the speaker can explain or use a compound subject ("Christopher and I"), object ("Christopher and me"), or possessive ("Christopher's and my"), as appropriate.

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