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Consider the following sentence: With these exams, schools become more accountable for the success of their students. (these exams refer to standardized exams, exams given to students at the end of each academic year.)

Here, I paraphrased the sentence:

1- The standard exams cause schools to be held more responsible for student success.

2- The standardization of tests enhances school accountability to student success.

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I don't like either one.

No. 1 has the exams doing the thing. It is requiring the schools to use them that does the thing.

No. 2 adds a value judgement not in the original. Specifically, it uses "enhances" thus implying that accountability is improved. The original only says "more" without stating that accountability is good. Many will think it is, but the original does not say so. You might change that to "increases."

Also for 2, I would say "for student success" not "to student success." To be accountable TO something means you have to go answer that thing. You might be accountable to a school board or some such. But schools are accountable for the outcomes.

Also, the original sentence, the part outside the brackets, does not describe the exams as standard. So the paraphrase should not.

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  • it seems that the "with" means "Using something" here. So, can I use "the way or technique" instead? e.g. Standardized tests are a way of holding schools more responsible for student success. Jan 17, 2022 at 7:04

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