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This is the latest English textbook from China. Could you take a look at the title and see if it sounds right to you: 'How can we be a good friend?' Does the grammar and meaning make sense to you? As a native speaker, how would you phrase this if you were talking to a child?

My concern is whether this sentence is suitable for a title on this page for G3. I’m not entirely sure if it fits the context of the image. In my opinion, the grammar is correct. But is it natural and widely used?

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    What are you asking about, the quote in the title ("make") or the body ("be")?
    – Laurel ♦
    Commented Oct 4 at 2:17
  • Sorry for the confusion. "How can we be a good friend", the title in the picture
    – famousfrancis
    Commented Oct 4 at 4:53
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    Why are you concerned? Is it the contrast between plural "we" and "a friend"? Are you concerned because one normally says "make friends" (using plural) or is there something else? Just "check this for me" isn't a question about English
    – James K
    Commented Oct 4 at 6:27
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    I can't tell from the picture what Sarah is sharing with Chen Jie, but in the second scene Chen Jie is 'being a good friend' to Sarah by offering to share her umbrella.
    – Kate Bunting
    Commented Oct 4 at 8:21
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    Asking if something is generally OK, without having a specific concern, is considered a request for proof-reading and is not allowed.
    – Stuart F
    Commented Oct 4 at 8:35

3 Answers 3

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The title is fine and is an accurate description of what is below it.

We can say, more fully, that a single person (someone) can be a good friend to someone else. This generally means that acts of kindness, helpfulness, steadfastness, loyalty, etc, happen.

Mary was a good friend to me when my dog died/I lost my bag/I was sad about something.

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  • Do you believe we can use this expression(How can we be a good friend?) for 'we' as well? coz I noticed you use a singular subject.
    – famousfrancis
    Commented Oct 4 at 8:39
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    In the sentence, 'we' is used to suggest that this advice is applicable to any member of the human race. The latter part of the sentence makes it clear that it is an individual responsibility to be a good friend.
    – JavaLatte
    Commented Oct 4 at 9:13
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    @famousfrancis - 'we' can be used in a general sense about individuals - How can we be a good citizen/passenger/colleague/customer/student (etc)?
    – Michael Harvey
    Commented Oct 4 at 9:34
  • I guess this is how can each of us be .... to be accurate.
    – famousfrancis
    Commented Oct 4 at 12:59
  • @famousfrancis - how can we or how can each of us are both appropriate and equivalent; the second, perhaps, emphasises that it applies to every individual. I would not say that it is more 'accurate'. English is not mathematics. Even more emphasis: How can each and every one of us help to defeat our common enemy?
    – Michael Harvey
    Commented Oct 4 at 18:21
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The question How can we be a good friend? could easily be found (in block letters) on the board many churches in the US have outside for passers-by to see, announcing the title of the upcoming Sunday sermon. It is idiomatic.

See: https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=1208787302958044

P.S. It is not at an advanced reading level but would be understood by most six year olds here. Whether it is suitable as the title of a beginners-level English language textbook is a matter of opinion.

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  • You’re right to point out that “How can we be a good friend?” can be found in contexts like church sermons. In such settings, “we” often refers to humanity as a collective, and “a good friend” symbolizes a general ideal or moral principle rather than focusing on individual relationships. However, I believe in this title, “we” means each of us.
    – famousfrancis
    Commented Oct 4 at 17:23
  • @famousfrancis That it is a "general ideal" is true but the only way of living up to the ideal is to act in accordance with it in our individual relationships. You could also find the phrase in children's magazines that seek to inculcate values other than competition, and I wouldn't be surprised to find it used in many kindergarten or early elementary school lesson plans.
    – TimR
    Commented Oct 4 at 17:53
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OP has shared the title of a lesson

How can we be a good friend? Does the grammar and meaning make sense to you?

The pictures show the girls helping each other by sharing their things. In the first picture, Sarah helps Chen Jie by sharing her colour paints. In the second picture, Chen Jie shares her umbrella.
However, the title 'How can we be a good friend?' has a rhetorical meaning, which is difficult to understand for a 6 year old kid in a non-English speaking country like China.
Hence for a Grade 1 lesson, I recommend a simple title;

1. How Can We Be Good Friends?.
2. Being good friends.

The plural form "friends" is more suitable for Grade 1, as it emphasize teamwork, clarity and social skills.

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  • There is no grammatical requirement for the subject and complement in a "be" clause to have the same number. Often they do for reasons of meaning. Here the "We" is typical teacher talk, using "we" instead of "you" to make the instruction seem more inclusive. It has a rhetorical purpose which probably goes right over the head of the elementary Chinese students that this is aimed at.
    – James K
    Commented Oct 4 at 17:35
  • @JamesK If it is difficult to understand means the title is inappropriate for Grade 1 kids.
    – James Mathai
    Commented Oct 5 at 0:29
  • Thanks for your reply! I think the grammar is correct, but this usage feels awkward.
    – famousfrancis
    Commented Oct 5 at 8:41
  • @famousfrancis Yes. You are right. They should change the title to something kids would understand.
    – James Mathai
    Commented Oct 5 at 15:20
  • Grade 1 kids won't understand it because it is written in a foreign language. They only understand spoken Chinese. The title is for the teacher.
    – James K
    Commented Oct 7 at 18:53

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