4

Let us say that I am explaining the reason behind something:

This occurs because of a disparity in globally utilized parameters, since they are isolated from objects’ local conditions.

Here, because I am using the word disparity (meaning discrepancy or inconsistency), should I even write the second part (isolated from local conditions), or is it redundant?

This occurs because of a disparity in globally utilized parameters.

Would this be grammatically correct?

1
  • 1
    . . . or the 2nd option was supposed to read, "This occurs because of a discrepancy in globally utilized parameters." @niro, can you please edit your question to address this confusion? Commented Mar 22, 2013 at 18:26

1 Answer 1

3

Your second form is grammatical, but “globally utilized parameters” is more verbose than necessary; “global parameters” may do.

Although there is some redundancy and inexactness in adding “since they are isolated from objects’ local conditions”, the added information is important enough to be included. But consider rewording like

This occurs because global parameters don't reflect local conditions of objects –or– This occurs because parameters used globally don't reflect local conditions of objects –or– This occurs because parameters used globally inaccurately represent local conditions.

0

You must log in to answer this question.

Not the answer you're looking for? Browse other questions tagged .