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I am writing a journal article and tying to give an interesting title. In this article I illustrate the situation of certain people who are neither satisfied with their life nor healthy.

I would like to remind the readers of the Rolling Stones song...so I came up with this title:

"I can't get no satisfaction or good health" How does this sentence sound?

I have asked to one native speaker who says that it sounds wrong, but no explanation is offered to me about the reason why it sounds wrong. I have no other native speaker within reach.

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Ignoring the Rolling Stones reference, it's somewhat non-standard grammar in the first place. But everyone will get the reference, so that doesn't matter, in my opinion.

What I think you want to do there is have the reader parse it as

"I can't get no (satisfaction or (good health))",

meaning

"(I can't get no satisfaction) and (I can't get no (good health))"

I think most readers will realise that this is what you mean, but at least those who are native readers of English, but the juxtaposition of a strongly dialectal (informal) phrase they know only from a song lyric with an attempt at logical union (the 'or') will slightly baffle. I would suggest adding a little separation. This is a purely stylistic thing, nothing to do with formal grammar or standard punctuation, but I think it will have the desired effect:

"I can't get no satisfaction... or good health."

An ellipsis formally indicates text that has been removed from a quote (though one would usually have a space on either side of it in that usage), but in everyday usage it is used to indicate a pause that is not related to normal punctuation (like commas or full stops). As one reads it, that pause kind of suggests a separation, and thus makes it more likely that people will read it as you intend, and that they won't think it's weird. Well, they might think it's weird that you chose to go for that title, but they won't be so likely to think the grammar or wording is weird linguistically.

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Your usage of adding "or good health" to the Stone's lyrics sounds too bulky. To reference the song

I can't get no

is sufficient, so

I can't get no good health

would be a simplified and more natural sounding variant of your title.

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    I disagree. "I can't get no good health" simply sounds uneducated. No-one will connect it with the Rolling Stones. Commented Feb 16, 2019 at 17:40
  • @chaslyfromUK Might be whether one is a Stones fan or not?
    – Peter
    Commented Feb 16, 2019 at 21:18
  • For me the phrase is kind of meaningless. Especially if there is no connection with the Stones in the actual article. If the article is about the Stones and their health (unlikely!) then maybe there is some reason for it. Otherwise it leads nowhere and merely misleads potential readers. Commented Feb 16, 2019 at 21:26
  • i have wrongly written the question, providing useless and confusing background. The title I am proposing is for an academic article: 95% of the people get the reference and enjoy little Easter eggs in the title (e.g. there is a paper titled "mr sandman, bring mg good marks" which is about the effect if sleeping on marks from university exams)
    – Fuca26
    Commented Feb 19, 2019 at 12:07
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Ellipsis is a very good point (mentioned by @SamBC).

However, you may re-phrase as this:

"I can't get no satisfaction... and no good health (too)"

You get as bonus the additional sound of Beatles / John Lennon ;)

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