4

I came across a video about Gif with sound on YouTube. I had not seen any videos of this kind before. But the video was very interesting and I learned a new idiom from an embedded song from Scissor Sisters in the video.

According to the Cambridge online dictionary, hang one's head means to be ​ashamed or ​unhappy.
In my diary, I have written this sentence,

I saw her crying alone in the school lavatory on second floor yesterday.

Now I want to rewrite it this way, but I don't know whether it is correct:

I saw her hang her head crying alone in the school lavatory on second floor yesterday.

Improve this question
2
  • 3
    There's an interesting timing problem with your rewrite. Normally I would say "I saw her hang her head and start to cry" or "I saw her crying alone with her head hung low". I'll have to think about how to explain why.
    – ColleenV
    Commented Dec 3, 2015 at 18:23
  • Unrelated to your question, but it should be on the second floor.
    – Michael Kay
    Commented Feb 7 at 0:10

2 Answers 2

Reset to default
1

This may or may not be my opinion only, but for what it's worth, here goes:

"Hang her head" is a dated expression that comes across as awfully bookish, and/or impossibly mawkish, today. You should therefore use it sparingly and not try to blend it with contemporary phrases, least of all idiomatic ones.

"I saw her hang her head in shame. She was alone in the school lavatory on the second floor, crying quietly."

Improve this answer
2
0

It's correct, but cumbersome. Having two phrases describing what you saw ("crying alone" and "hanging her head") makes the sentence difficult to decipher. Better to split it up as @Ricky suggests.

I don't agree with @Ricky that the phrase is dated, although it's not exactly fashionable either: but perhaps that's because no-one has any shame nowadays.

Improve this answer

You must log in to answer this question.

Not the answer you're looking for? Browse other questions tagged .