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I usually ask people this first, but I haven't done so with you. What's your favorite music?

I usually ask people this at first, but I haven't done so with you. What's your favorite music?

Are both examples grammatically correct? What's the difference in their meaning? Are first and at first interchangeable here?

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First implies that it is literally the first question that you ask them. At first could mean that you ask it quite early in the conversation, or soon after having met them.

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