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1- "I don't ever hit my father."

The sentence is talking about a fact. I have never done it and never will. It doesn't seem to have another meaning.

2- "You don't ever hit your father."

The second sentence has the same structure as the first sentence, but I am not sure if it only means that. When the subject is "you", it may not be referring to a fact only, it might also seem like a piece of advice for everyone, like teaching a social or cultural rule.

Is my inference, as a non-native speaker, about the second sentence right? What do native English speakers think about the structure "You don't ever ....."? Do you take it as an imperative clause or a piece of advice?

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  • I take it as imperative: Do not ever hit your father.
    – ishtar
    Commented Jul 25 at 13:25
  • You are right, it can mean either depending on the setting: "I was accused of hitting Dad." "I can testify. You don't ever hit your father."
    – Yosef Baskin
    Commented Jul 25 at 13:46
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    You can say to someone: You don't ever do whatever. That said: It is not an imperative. It is just setting a rule.
    – Lambie
    Commented Jul 25 at 14:02
  • What @Lambie said. But although syntactically example #2 above is a "statement / assertion" (setting a rule) rather than an "imperative", in practice the net effect is the same as an emphatic imperative - so emphatic that it's effectively just a statement of fact that you (or anyone else, usually) never do that.
    – FumbleFingers
    Commented Jul 25 at 14:07

2 Answers 2

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You are correct, it could have either of those meanings. Let's go with a less violent alternative.

You don't ever microwave fish at work.

1 Simple statement that, unlike Sue, who stinks up the office with her reheated trout, you have some decency and do not cook stinky food in an shared setting. You would likely only use this to contrast with someone who did do the thing you're commenting on.

2a Sharing a rule in the imperative sense. You're telling someone new to the office that they will not make friends if they make the place smell bad with their food. This is a calm sharing of social norms.

2b Still imperative, but with a serious mood change. When someone has violated an important norm, you might hear this as a serious admonishment or as part of an direct threat. The fish in the office example doesn't really fit here (for rational people anyway), so going back to something like your example, suppose your friend/daughter/whatever was assaulted by her partner. "You don't ever touch her again," would fit well, and "or else I'll do X" is either stated or implied.

It's not identical phrasing, but a particular line from the movie "Dodgeball" (of all things) kept coming to mind as I wrote this. To set the scene in this absurd comedy: Kate is at home and has a repulsive suitor show up. Another suitor/friend comes a bit later, tries to help her, but finds out that she doesn't need the assistance. Her line is, "You don't get to touch me, ever."

Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story

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  • I have to say that your example is quite funny. :)
    – Lambie
    Commented Jul 25 at 14:12
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As the comments suggest, You don’t ever hit your father, can bear the meaning of Hitting one’s father is an unacceptable practice. If it were being used with that meaning, then even though both its syntactic structure and its rhetorical intent are those of a statement of fact, it would also carry (at least subtly) the sense of an imperative: Don't hit your father because that would be to engage in a practice that is unacceptable.

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