I am trying to write but stumbling to find a word for the following situation. Here is line what i wrote
And one more hidden reason I found that is the greed to store these beauty of right now life as a perfect part of the picture, so that someday if I fumble the picture of life what past painted
I used word fumble but I feel it is not the perfect word to say that if I look back on the picture, look back with a cursory search for some colors that are perfect to give bliss or say to feel some past again. I want some aesthetic and more perfect word. I looked over dictionary but the synonyms makes me feel more that I used some less perfect word. Please help me. Please point out any other mistakes, grammar etc., too.